第478章 - 散落與拾獲

::
「於是你不停散落，我不停拾獲」
這句給自己

「不說的，是真的」
這句是她一直的態度

不能向前
沒法退後

繼續拾遺

::
張懸【艷火】

撲火，我們相視笑著撲火， 什麼都不說
不說的，是真的， 我們相視笑著，是夢也快樂
當你穿越愛的歷史向我走來， 我在你眼裡看盡了相戀的年代，
曾經的黑白，此刻燦爛

於是你不停散落，我不停拾獲， 我們在遙遠的路上白天黑夜為彼此是艷火。
如果你在前方回頭，而我亦回頭， 我們就錯過
（很久以前人麼都許諾...... 許諾要是什麼，可以不說？）
當你原諒所有遺憾，對我依賴； 我在你懷裡想起了最初的感慨， 第一次等待

此刻還在

於是你不斷地愛我， 我能如何便如何， 在遙遠的路上即使塵埃看今夜艷火；
我等你在前方回頭，而我不回頭， （你要不要我？）
撲火，我們相視笑著撲火
什麼都不說，不說的是真的
我們相視笑著
有夢了，快樂

第477章 - temptation

::
現在的家，與火車站之間有一段路程，有時想安靜地思考一些問題的時候，我會選擇走走，尤其在有風的晚上......

Tonight I think I'll walk alone, find my soul as I go home

::
Temptation
Performed by Moby

Heaven
A gateway to hope
Just like a feeling
I need, it's no joke

And though it hurts me
To see you this way
Betrayed by words
I'd never heard
Too hard to say them

Up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home
[2x]

Oh it's the last time, it's the last time
Oh it's the last time, it's the last time

Each way I turn
I know I'll always try
To break the circle
That has been placed round me

From time to time
I find I lost
Some meaning
That was urgent
To myself
I do believe

Oh, up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home
[2x]

Oh it's the last time, it's the last time
Oh it's the last time, it's the last time

And I've never met anyone quite like you before
And I've never met anyone quite like you before
[2x]

And I've never met anyone quite like you before
Oh, up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home

And I've never met anyone quite like you before
Up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home

Up, down, turn around; please don't let me hit the ground
Tonight I think I'll walk alone; find my soul as I go home
[2x]

第476章 - I'm Nuthin'

::
好難想像，如果我今日再看Reality Bites，會有什麼觀後感？

但的確，只有少數愛情戲能影響我，這是其中一套

Ethan Hawke的這首I'm Nuthin'會不是出現腦海

這兩天，又再不時在腦中輕輕的響起

::
Artist: Ethan Hawke
Title: I'm Nuthin'

I got a pothead mama, got a cokehead dad;
I'm an ultramodern version of the American man.
I don't feel good, but I don't feel bad,
Cause me you see, I'm nuthin'

Ain't no Republocrat, no Demmican, ain't nuthin' in between;
I'm sick of people talkin' about American dreams.
That's all gone, ain't nuthin' there for me --
Cause me you see I'm nuthin'.

I ain't left, I ain't right, people say I'm wrong,
Before I was born, I was all gone.
Don't even make sense that I wrote this song...
Cause me you see I'm nuthin, I'm nuthin'.

Don't want no big TV or no flashy garage,
Never would cut it in no corporate job
People see me coming - they say "Look at that slob..."
Cause me you see I'm nuthin', I'm nuthin'.
Nuthin', that's me.

第475章 - Apache

::
今次的動畫推介是Apache，比起動畫，我更喜歡一開結的結他聲，那份我行我素的獨立感，又有幾多個人可以守得住？

第474章 - come back

::
這兩晚的月亮真的太醉人，的確，會令我想起我掛念的......

come back也是對自己說的一句，重組自己，快點come back......

又是Xavier Rudd，他是我的預言家？

::
Xavier Rudd - Come Back

And my answers, often left to feelin'
Like you're hangin' out to dry
And my reasons have left you wondering why

Life has this question looming over me
Since the day you took fly
And if you come back there will be good times

I see your face when I'm staring out the window
Beaming down in the moonlight
Winter is colder, life sought you by my side

All I have is this photo whom you're
Smiling to remind me of my words
In my rights if you come back there would be good times

And my answers, often left to feelin'
Like you're hangin' out to dry
And my reasons have left you wondering why

Life had this question looming over me
Since the day we took fly
And if you come back there would be good times

And I see your face when I'm staring out the window
Beaming down in the moonlight
Winter is colder, I sought you by my side

Now all I've is this photo whom you're
Smiling to remind me of my words
In my rights if you come back there would be good times

第473章 - we never change, do we?

::
曾經何時，以為自己不會再迷失了，人生有了目標不斷向前......

所謂三十而立，四十不惑

不滿楚是否可以有這樣的覺悟......

這個星期，腦，沒有停止過，但基本上是空轉，最傷神......

::
I wanna live life, never be cruel,
I wanna live life, be good to you.
I wanna fly, never come down,
And live my life,
And have friends around.

We never change, do we?
We never learn, do we?

So I wanna live in a wooden house,
I wanna live life, always be true,
I wanna live life, and be good to you,
I wanna fly, and never come down,
And I live my life, and have friends around.

We never change do we? No, no,
We never learn, do we?

So I wanna live in a wooden house,
Making more friends would be easy.
Oh and I don't have a show to say,
Yes, and I sin every single day,

We never change, do we?
We never learn, do we?

So, I wanna live in a wooden house,
Making more friends would be easy,
I wanna live where the sun comes out.

第472章 - my missing

::
今日選了Xavier Rudd在巴士途中陪著我，真的句句窩心......

情緒算是穩定得多，再次投入工作，塞滿自己時間，但卻少了一份動力......

路還是要走，祝福自己，可以再有自信地迎接每一日......

::
MY Missing
Performed by Xavier Rudd


I See you sleeping only in my mind
I have been away alone this season
I waste so much time
Thinking of when I would hold you gently
And I'd look into your eyes
And I would be the one to calm your shaking
When you would cry

I miss you in my life
I miss you in my life
I miss you in my life
So miss you in my life

You hide your answers within every smile
Time and time again I'd lose my chances
To reconcile
Even if I had my time over
it would take a while
To reveal all my best intentions
That I let slip by

I miss you in my life
I miss you in my life
I miss you in my life
So miss you in my life

第471章 - Freefallin'

::
跑步真的好討厭，著實一邊跑一邊其實檢討自己精神及生理狀態，孤獨地面對自己......

不過，今晚的天氣實在太過舒服，沿著河慢跑，各式人等在你身邊短暫地掃過，最後看見一片黑色的海，的確有治療作用......

又好像明白了自己更多一點......

::
"Freefallin'"

[Chorus x2:]
Freefallin' when you shook from the pack
Keep walkin', let the foot leave a track
We often gotta look for the path
These problems, are the good ones to have

[Slug: Verse 1]
Nobody wanna struggle at home
Bass in his voice, trouble in her tone
What kinda couple makes a puzzle out of stone?
Choppin' and poppin' all of the bubbles that are blown
Nobody wanna be wrong
And once the line gets drawn across what we disagree upon
It could be the timebomb that we sleep on
It's just a little one
Back and forth like a ping pong
Nobody wants an argument
You try to bargain as a friend
But it's hard to with a star offense against a smart defense
And the history you share is full of scars and dents
Nobody likes breakin' up
When you hate the situation, but you crave the touch
You might stay in the relationship for the simple sake of it
Because you know it's based in love

[Chorus x2:]
Freefallin' when you shook from the pack
Keep walkin', let the foot leave a track
We often gotta look for the path
These problems, are the good ones to have

[Slug: Verse 2]
Nobody wanna go to work
For some older jerk that doesn't know the dirt
That's embedded in the hearts of those that hurt
Monday through Friday and Saturday's for bonus perks
Nobody befriends the beast
Just to make ends meat and try to pay rent and eat
Spreadsheets by the end of the week
You'd rather spread them sheets and try to get some sleep
Nobody wanna lift a crate
That ain't living great
You wanna kid and play
You should dip, escape
No two week notification
Show up late and quit today
Nobody wants an awful boss
That got you poppin' out the top of your mouth as if it's common talk
You ought to wait until you off the clock
And appreciate the fact that you got a job

[Chorus x2:]
Freefallin' when you shook from the pack
Keep walkin', let the foot leave a track
We often gotta look for the path
These problems, are the good ones to have

[Slug: Verse 3]
But somebody want that life you got
They think your boyfriend's nice or your wife is hot
They on your block lookin' at that home you bought
They'd move in today if that door wasn't locked
Nowadays you ought to watch your spot
Even with all the flaws of that boss you mock
You could still close your eyes and toss a rock
I bet you'd hit someone that'd love to cop your job
That's what I thought
Of course you don't stop
You won't take the shot
You can't afford the loss
If you don't wanna taste the sauce
Then put the plate down and take a walk
Drop or move away from the pot
Cause every time you talk
Complain a lot
Don't forget to count the balls y'all caught
Enjoy what you got before it all falls off

[Chorus x2:]
Freefallin' when you shook from the pack
Keep walkin', let the foot leave a track
We often gotta look for the path
These problems, are the good ones to have

第471章 - symptoms

::
的確近日會發一些關於迷路的夢

如果卡拉ok有這些歌，我會考慮改變我習慣......

::
"You On My Mind in My Sleep" by Richard Ashcroft

You ain't ever seen
the way to find your dreams
Forget what's within's within
till you've been, you've been

If all we lose is the skin
I'm putting you under within
We're gonna make this life together

The symptoms are too deep
I got you on my mind in my sleep
you on my mind in my sleep

Do you know how hard i tried
to lose this foolish pride
Can you take me as i am
Can you understand me
I'm changing now

If all we lose is the skin
I'm putting you under within
We're gonna make this life together

The symptoms are too deep
I got you on my mind in my sleep
you on my mind in my sleep

Sometimes I'm too deep Yeah Yeah Yeah
Without it Shining outta my mind

第470章 - Reveal yourself

::
今日，自己的ipad，戲，pacific coffee，都聽到The Carpenters，不禁分享一首近日常播給自己的，不過，我播的是cracker版本，youtube還未見到......

“Reveal yourself, tiny songstress!”

::
Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me.
What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

第469章 - 天氣

:: Have you ever seen the rain？

除了是近期的天氣，更是我的近況

好像了解了一些

基本上，沒有什麼能夠執著，除非你有能力戰勝一切循環

有時候，有些事，被破壞了，可以選擇放棄，什麼也不想再理
有時候，有些事，被破壞了，可以選擇重新建立整理，再氣餒也得慢慢來

徘徊在這兩種狀態，才是最痛苦

那些可以真正留下來
那些隨時可以消逝

我永遠不會懂
也永遠不能控制

一切就像天氣

::
LOVE PSYCHEDELICO

Have you ever seen the rain

作詞︰John Fogerty
作曲︰John Fogerty

Someone told me long ago
there's a calm before the storm,
I know; it's been comin' for some time.

When it's over, so they say,
it'll rain a sunny day,
I know; shinin' down like water.

I want to know,
have you ever seen the rain?
I want to know,
have you ever seen the rain
Comin' down on a sunny day?

Yesterday, and days before,
sun is cold and rain is hard,
I know; it's been that way for all my time.

'til forever, on it goes
through the circle, fast and slow,
I know; it can't stop, I wonder.

I want to know,
have you ever seen the rain?
I want to know,
have you ever seen the rain
Comin' down on a sunny day?

第468章 - my valentine

::
實在係黃金組合，救命！

::
my valentine ﹣paul mccartney

what if it rained?
we didn’t care
she said that someday soon
the sun was gonna shine.
and she was right,
this love of mine,
my valentine

as days and nights,
would pass me by
i tell myself that i was waiting for a sign
then she appeared,
a love so fine,
my valentine

and i will love her for life
and i will never let a day go by
without remembering the reasons why
she makes me certain
that i can fly

and so i do,
without a care
i know that someday soon the sun is gonna shine
and she’ll be there
this love of mine
my valentine

第467章 - No Distance Left To Run

::
"it's a warning... and a kind of... a general reminder." Damon answered.

::
禁歌2號

相隔這些年，卻忘記了這份溫馨提示

Come on home,
No more

朋友兼鄰居Ｔ說捨不得我，

我要撤離這個住了三十年的地區了，捨不得，應該是我

希望一切順順利利

第466章 - 完美孤獨

::
寂寞和孤獨不一樣。

這是一個被動與主動的分別吧？

alone with everybody，至細最怕，卻又經常發生

仍然未學懂面對

第465章 - The Day I Died

::
的確，曾經想過，因為自己實在太幸福，不如就這樣死去，沒有遺憾......

當然，這個方法相當自私......

不是物質上的滿足？不是名氣？不是宗教上的神怪？那還有什麼？

的確，需要動力再向前，我不要這樣落泊的死去......

::
Drag myself from my bed
Around 20 past 6
Get my kids up make breakfast
1 egg 2 toast 3 weetabix

and as i sit down i look up
and your standing in the doorway sun at your back
in my old brown dressing gown
Well no one can love you more than i love you now, but i

Gotta go running for the bus
Coat flying and i try not to miss it this time
but the drivers waiting and that's strange
kids on the top deck quiet for a change
and there's no rain and no roadworks
in the bus lane and all my hurts run away
and I'm smiling as I'm punching in

the day i died was the best day of my life
the day i died was the best day of my life
tell my friends and my kids and my wife
everything will be alright
the day i died was the best day of my life

now the secretaries they got a smile for me
and the in-tray on my desks almost empty
I get a memo from executive Joe
saying Rob the gob is getting kicked out
for embezzling funds from the company account
and id be lying if i said i wasn't chuffed
cos i always hated rob
and now they'll probably offer me robs old job

and in the park at lunch
there's no winos on my favorite bench
none of that drunk chatter none of that prissy stench
and the scrawny little pigeons with the gammy legs
decide to dive bomb from someone else sandwich instead
and there's something about the city today
like all the colors conspire to overwhelm the gray
and this close to the fire i can feel no cold
but a rainbow halo around my soul

the day i died was the best day of my life
the day i died was the best day of my life
tell my friends and my kids and my wife
everything will be alright
the day i died was the best day of my life

so i leave work get to the high street and i miss my bus
should i wait for another no i cant be arsed
i begin to walk
and rush hour crowd seem to part like the red sea
and I'm stopping at the offs
20 cigarettes and a 6 pack to relax me
and as i cross back over the street
i guess i never saw that taxi

the day i died was the best day of my life
the day i died was the best day of my life
tell my friends and my kids and my wife
everything will be alright
the day i died was the best day of my life

第464章 - To Binge

::
Plastic Beach大碟中我最喜歡的其中一首歌，估不到，現在變成自己生活的部份寫照：

I'll wait to be forgiven
Maybe I never will
My star has left me
To take the bitter pill
That shattered feeling
Well the cause of it's a lesson learned
Just don't know if I could roll into the sea again
"Just don't know if I could do it all again" she said, it's true

當然，也想caught again，to binge，但心急不來

::
Waiting by the mailbox, by the train
Passin' by the hills 'til I hear the name
I'm looking for a saw to cut these chains in half and all I want is
Someone to rely on as
Thunder comes a rolling down
Someone to rely on as
Lightning comes a staring in again

I'll wait to be forgiven
Maybe I never will
My star has left me
To take the bitter pill
That shattered feeling
Well the cause of it's a lesson learned
Just don't know if I could roll into the sea again
"Just don't know if I could do it all again" she said, it's true

Waiting in my room and i lock the door
I watch the coloured animals across the floor
And im looking from a distance
And im listening to the whispers
And oh it aint the same, when your falling out of feeling and your
Falling in and caught again

Im caught again in the mystery
Your by my side, but are you still with me?
The answers somewhere deep in it, im sorry but your feeling it
But i just have to tell that i love you so much these days
Have to tell you that i love you so much these days, its true

My heart is in economy
Due to this autonomy
Rolling in and caught again
Caught again

My heart is in economy
Due to this autonomy
Rolling in and caught again
Caught again

第463章 - 石膏

::
今日偶然再碰上這首歌，「四月又來臨了 這讓我回憶起同一天的事」，椎名林檎謀殺了我。

寇特可本與寇特妮洛芙，就是Kurt Cobain & Courtney Love，再殺我多一次。

::
あなたはすぐに写真を撮りたがる
あたしは何時も其れを厭がるの
だって写真になっちゃえば　あたしが古くなるじゃない

あなたはすぐに絶対などと云う
あたしは何時も其れを厭がるの
だって冷めてしまっちゃえば　其れすら嘘になるじゃない

don't you think？ I wanna be with you

此処に居て
ずっと
明日のことは判らない
だからぎゅっとしていてね　ダーリン

あなたはすぐにいじけて見せたがる
あたしは何時も其れを喜ぶの
だってカートみたいだから　あたしがコートニーじゃない
don't you think？ I wanna be with you

傍に来て
もっと
昨日のことは忘れちゃおう
そしてぎゅっとしていてね　ダーリン

また四月が　来たよ
同じ日のことを思い出して

-----------------------
中譯：
你總馬上想照相

但不論何時我就討厭那一點
因為一旦照了相　那我就變老了不是嗎

你總馬上說出絕對什麼的
但不論何時我就討厭那一點
因為一旦感情冷卻了　那些不就都變成了謊言嗎

don't you think？ I wanna be with you

就在這裡待著
永遠地
明天的事誰也不知道
所以請緊緊地擁抱我吧 darling

你總馬上露出怯弱的樣子
而我不論何時總為此而感到高興
因為就像寇特可本一般　我不就像寇特妮洛芙了嗎

don't you think？ I wanna be with you

到我身邊來
更加接近地
昨天的事就忘記了吧
然後緊緊地擁抱我吧 darling

四月又來臨了
這讓我回憶起同一天的事

第462章 - 等

::
主動裝備自己

被動的等

主動認識自己

被動的等

主動痛改前非

被動的等

主動理解體諒

被動的等

......

被動的等？

第461章 - 節奏

::
一星期三日運動，已經開始了兩個星期，加上進食份量少了，脂肪已經掉走六七磅。

人大了，想有點群體或競爭式運動變得異常奢侈，無奈何，唯有選擇緩步跑。

跑的時候，老實身心也覺到吃力，而且悶到發慌，但跑完一段又一段，無力再跑，開始慢行回家時的感覺反而最有生命力，自己可以感受到身體每部份在重整及修復，正正就是自己需要的一環。

今日終於發現了自己跑步的節奏，正正就是Don't let him waste your time，自己也失笑起來。

不過，去到尾段，耳機又隨機地傳來Fix you......

「頂！」

第460章 - 病毒

::
近期，太多問題，太少答案

星期日在巴士上接到F的電話，收了線之後，眼淚就自動流下來

是我影響了大家，我的確這樣自責，負能量令身邊所有事都在崩潰一樣？

臨睡，扎醒，最為痛苦，每日仍然發生，就像現在我寫這篇時一樣，也開始麻木了

但不應將這份無助，傳到身邊的朋友吧？這種生活，不可能是病毒吧？

我可以做什麼？我可以為身邊的人做什麼？我要相信什麼？不應相信什麼？

我相信自己是一個好人，我對身邊的人和事關心，之前關心的方法錯了，但無損自己是一個好人，如果連這個都否定自己，那我生存根本上白癈？

生活有好多壓力，仍然未學懂如何處理，就算洗牌重來，我相信同一類問題仍然會再次出現，今次我要好好面對，積極地承擔

正能量

學習每日累積起來

不要再有病毒